i dream of being possible

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to put it into some context

i’m so conflict avoidant and have learned helplessness so well from being


that there have been two times in my life that i could have died because

in a crisis situation that requires action

i will literally lie down and wait to die

it was only because of outside intervention

that i didn’t, in fact die

one reason i avoid conflict is because

i *know* at this point

that if i get into a situation where i could die

i will not lift a single fucking finger to save my own life

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