yeah. ok. my world is kind of being rocked by the realization that i”m impulsive.

as my brain reframes my past, it all seems pretty fucking obvious to me now.

and like i just read this nytimes article with a guy with impulsivity problem saying, “i”m just really intuitive”

which, um, is totally a thing i”ve been saying about myself for a really really long time.

while i may not necessarily be wrong about being intuitive, but impulse control is definitely a problem with me.

and it isn”t really something i”ve developed any strategies for managing. only by sheer force of my anxiety have i been able to escape some of my worst impulses. but. there is a lot of self-harm you can do between ‘utter ruin” and, you know, not acting on impulse.

but the reality is, is that i”ve already ruined most of my life. so… do i care?

idk.