i dream of being possible

to put it into some context

i’m so conflict avoidant and have learned helplessness so well from being


that there have been two times in my life that i could have died because

in a crisis situation that requires action

i will literally lie down and wait to die

it was only because of outside intervention

that i didn’t, in fact die

one reason i avoid conflict is because

i *know* at this point

that if i get into a situation where i could die

i will not lift a single fucking finger to save my own life

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