i dream of being possible

Thinking about going back to therapy and maybe doing medication...

I did therapy a while back and I really did find that it helped a lot. It was also very expensive (canada may have universal health care but the government doesn’t consider mental health to be part of a person’s necessary health services). I’ve never been on medication, though…

It only recently occurred to me that this might be something beneficial for me, mostly ‘cause I thought that I might have dysthymia (or chronic depression). A little more searching brought me to GAD and, honestly, it fits way more and describes a lot of my behaviour to an almost absurd degree. So. Yeah. I’m not quite sure how to approach this because, um, well I have anxiety. Lol. And trying to access services and shit that I’m not used to is really hard for me.

But. For reals. I’m ready to stop feeling like this. I worry all the time. All. The. Time. About anything and everything. It makes me unhappy and irritable and I really feel like my mood swings and shit aren’t good for my relationship (yes, I realize that a relationship is a poor reason to want to do something like this but it isn’t my only motivation).

Really. I just want to stop feeling like everything is so hard. I constantly feel like giving up. Doing shit almost always feels like it takes way more energy than I actually have.

Um. yeah.