i dream of being possible

So I'm a little miffed, still, about that comment about my writing (well, a comment about how...

So I”m a little miffed, still, about that comment about my writing (well, a comment about how that person imagined I write). But this actually links in to something I talked about on twitter a while back and something that readers of the blog ought to know.

I got an ask the other day requesting that I tag the “t slur”. I waffled about this for a little while, but since my target audience is trans women of colour, the very people who might be bothered and triggered by it, I”ll do it. In general, I”m willing to tag most things. But there are somethings that I won”t tag.

I may or may not tag any potential trigger in the ‘the life of an ordinary bakla” posts. Why? Because this is my life. Yes, yes, I do share parts of myself online the ~public~. But that still doesn”t mean that I, a person, am available for public consumption.

Accessibility is about accommodating disabilities so that barriers are reduced or removed when a disabled person is trying to do something. Usually, accommodation requests are tendered towards any public or social service, since these types of entities are required by law to make reasonable accommodations.

See where I”m going with this? I an individual, private person am not required either by law or ethics to give ppl ‘equal access” to me. Indeed, I”m not required to give anyone access to me. My life and my experiences (which touch all of my writing) aren”t the same thing as a municipal building. People are not entitled to access me. I choose what I share and how I share it.

And like, when I do add trigger warnings for friends and twoc?1 Its becuse I do want them to be able to access my writing (and me in a generic sense). But not everyone gets this consideration and they never will. If friends or twoc ask me to explain something or engage in other kinds of community or emotional labour? I do it because I choose to, not because I”m obligated to. And, honestly? When any of them (something that rarely happens which is why I trust them…) act entitled to me? They get called out. I don”t know why anyone thinks that if they aren”t my friend or a twoc that they”ll get better treatment.

  1. And I know I"m going to get ppl accusing me of whatever for saying this. In reality, I"ve accommodated every trigger warning request that has ever been made. But think long and hard about why you or anyone else thinks you might be entitled to access my transpinay self. Because you"re really really not.