i dream of being possible

one of the things that's been going around my brain for a few days is that, at least at this...

one of the things that”s been going around my brain for a few days is that, at least at this moment, i do have some regrets about going to university.

in high school, i was pretty adament that university was not something i wanted to do. i didn”t want to deal with the debt. my dad, however, convinced me to go, get a loan, and he”d pay it off when i was done.

as in many things, he was lying.

i spent most of my 20s learning how to be a good academic, only to realize that academia has a fairly narrow concept of ‘original research”. i then, bc autism, did a professional degree so i could maybe learn functional job skills other than making coffee. something i”ve now failed at as well.

i don”t actually mind my last degree bc i managed to get a scholarship that paid for most of my tuition. so my debt didn”t increase.

but now i have thousands of dollars of debt. i”m underemployed and unemployable. i can”t work in my field anymore. the only other functional job skills i have are….

making coffee.

but i”ve been out of customer service long enough that it”s been difficult to get back into it. i also… can”t really doctor my resume to make it look like i have less education than i do. i haven”t been listing all of my education, but since employment gaps create a negative bias, i have to put my current job… which requires a degree.

i mean. if i”d not gone to school like i planned, i”d probably still be poor. but at least i wouldn”t be poor with a giant student loan, as i currently am.