i dream of being possible

internet popularity

I’ve been trying to do a much better job at not reading my dash and actually making this hiatus a real hiatus.

It amuses me to see that the discussion has popped up again about being internet popular or whatever. And it is really aggravating for all the reasons I’ve seen and said myself: chief among them is the very real fact that the more internet famous you are, the more harassment and shit you get.

I, for the life of me, cannot understand why people want it so bad that they zealously attempt to get it by any means necessary.

I’m not very internet famous. Less than 200 followers on twitter. My wp blog gets about 100 hits a day (on average…). My tumblr, the biggest one I have, is on the cusp of hitting 1000. Not very much.

And… for those who’ve been following me, you’ll know that I’ve been having continuous debates about torching my tumblr (for the moment, I’m just trying to take a real break in the hopes that i can start sleeping properly again and get a handle on my anxiety).

I started writing because I was tired of being silent.

And it is a continuous surprise to me that there is anyone at all interested in listening.

(on top of being anxiety inducing – i don’t deal well with either attention or conflict. but this is also just life)