i dream of being possible

I hate to say it...

But a large part of me is relieved.

It isn’t because you are crazy or a monster (even if you do remind me of my dad).

But because I no longer have to loose sleep trying to figure out what you needed or wanted. No long have to worry if I’m good enough for you.

(seems like the answer is no but maybe the real answer is we weren’t good for each other)

I’m upset. But also relieved.

(and, damn it, I still care. still worry about how you are and how you are doing. and whether or not you’ll be okay. but soon you’ll be forgotten and i won’t think about you ever again.)