i dream of being possible

don't know how to group

It occurred to me yesterday, with how reacted to an ongoing situation, that i fundamentally do not understand how to interact with groups. Like at all.

I never figured it out as a kid because i didn’t have any friends.

and, well, it isn’t like there are any good models/guides for how to group social. i mean, it isn’t something you can pick up from watching movies/tv or reading books. and, yeah, i’ve mostly have the one-on-one social thing figured out.

but group dynamics confuse me. and i never know what i’m doing. and the nld thing kinda makes it impossible for me to generalize the social skills i’ve learned for one context, to other contexts (otherwise, i’d be fine, since i figured out how to professional and how to network, and it i was able to translate those social skills to my personal life, i’d probably be much better off).

er. okay.

my anxiety has been really bad today. and i’m starting to get a pounding heart and adrenaline, just thinking about group social.

i think this is it….. for this post at least. i have a lot more thinking to do.