i dream of being possible

dear self, you are worthy

So. I’ve effectively been sucked back into tumblr in the exact way that I had hoped to take care of by going on my fairly lengthy social media break a little while ago. I’m not quite at the same crisis point because I hadn’t started engaging on twitter in the same way, leaving me to feel stretched and stressed in ways not great for my mental health.

Obviously something needs to be done about this. ‘Cause I can’t keep this up and, quite frankly, it is taking up way too much of my time. And it isn’t that I’m wasting time, that isn’t the problem. The problem is spending too much time just reacting to stimuli that I can’t really focus on doing some longer writing and some research and introspection on things that I’d really like to do.

My whole purpose for blogging and doing all of this is rather selfish: I want to learn about and explore myself. And, yes, I do realize that this has the pleasant consequence of actually benefiting other people at the same time ‘cause my conceptual space is one that other people find illuminating for their own personal journeys (and this is great).

This post isn’t about me quitting anything. Just… working out some thoughts. About how I need to spend more time focusing on my stuff. On prioritizing my decolonizing and my liberation.

Because, in a world that constantly tells me that I either don’t exist or, if I do exist, my existence is worthless. It is important. Revolutionary even. For me to act in ways that assert that I am worthwhile. Worthy of the love and attention I am able to give myself.

And, even more important, that I not only recognize this but actually give myself the love and attention that I deserve. Because. Thought without action has little value.