in all this discussion and introspection about who you’ve harmed and what you need to do to make it better, you’ve forgotten one person:
yes, you’ve taken a lot of steps over the past six months or so to start taking better care of yourself online and off. steps like
- taking a step back from some relationships
- taking a step back from call outs
- focusing on your own writing
- making sure to spend time everyday on self care (usually in the form of lounging, reading fic, and eating chocolate)
- actually enforcing your boundaries
- changing how you engage so that you feel comfortable, healthy, and non-destructive
i seriously appreciate all these things. there are necessary steps and since you’ve been taking them you’ve been able to connect on a more genuine level with people. you are sleeping better. your anxiety is down. you are also more productive and able to focus.
you’ve still done yourself harm.
i’m sorry for not taking better care. for no prioritizing your needs and safety.
i hope to forgive myself.