i dream of being possible

Changes and Re-prioritizing my time

So… For those who caught my tweets about my current finances, you likely already know that I”ve been… not really living within my means for the past few years. And after sitting down and really looking at the the numbers, there”s a pretty clear reason why the savings I managed to get from working full-time for eight months four years ago are all gone now.

This basically means, that if I keep going as I have been, I”ll just accumulate a great deal of credit debt. And while a certain amount is probably inevitable, I”m hoping to avoid this.

This is how things look for me: I have $140/month for food. Food for two people. This is all the money I have left after paying bills. So it also doesn”t account for things like soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc. Clearly… this isn”t really doable. Canada also doesn”t have any programs like food stamps, so that isn”t an option.

Obviously, the most obvious solution, here, is to get a different (or another) job. However, if you”ve been following me for enough time, you”ll know that I actually have been looking for a full-time and/or another part-time job for the past three years. It isn”t happening. Or… it isn”t happening any time soon. The jobs I”ve applied for have ranged from professional ones in my field and food service jobs. I”ve averaged one interview a year despite having sent out many, many applications.

The reality is that I”m a disabled trans pinay and it seems like no one wants to employ me. Yes. I”ve done all the right things. I can write great cover letters now. I”ve been doing a lot of professional development stuff in my spare time. A lot of extra uncompensated labour to round out my resume and skills. I have credentials (three fucking degrees okay?). I”ve even been employed in my field for four years. I have experience. What I don”t have is a full-time job and its pretty clear to me that while I can still apply I need to come up with a new plan.

Teh New Plan

Basically, the only skill I can really rely on at this point is writing. Creating critical theory. Blogging about whatever. So I”m going to be putting a lot more effort into this.

What does this mean, exactly?

First, I”m going to be more engaged on tumblr and twitter. More willing to discuss stuff. More willing to do the more basic 101 crap that I stopped doing ages ago. More willing to debate my humanity (but no one else”s). Generally more responsive to people”s comments, criticisms, and whatever.

Second, while I”ve been tweeting links to news that I feel is worth sharing, my original goal was to make short summaries of news stories and link to them with trigger warnings. So that people can (within certain limits) safely get some trans news without having to read the garbage that most mainstream media writes about trans women (of colour).

Third, since I”m planning to be more active on tumblr, I”ve turned off the crossposting of my tweets to tumblr. Instead, people who follow me on tumblr should expect original content here again (not just tweets and donation post reblogs).

Fourth, tumblr is probably going to become my main blog. For years, my primary blog has been off tumblr. But… Trying to maintain three different places is too much work. Especially now that I know how to properly archive my tumblr. I”m not quite sure how I”ll handle my long posts, but tumblr doesn”t work quite so well with posts longer than 500 words. Maybe put ‘read mores” on thing. Idk. Suggestions welcome.

(Selling my longer essays doesn”t seem to be quite the thing. And while I”ve posted pieces a few thousand words long, the last essay is almost 6000 words. It”s fucking long.)

Basically, the goal is to provide more original content so that more ppl are willing to support me on patreon. Basically, I”m going to really start treating this more like a job and try to commit to a certain amount of time everyday to this all. Instead of when I just feel like it…

With all of this, I”ll be sticking to the same general principles that have informed my online presence and behaviour for a few years now. The only one that might really change is how often I engage in certain kinds of debate (like over my humanity). This might mean that my blog becomes somewhat less safe for people who really want to avoid that sort of thing. Which I do understand, since I generally stop following people who I see debating a lot (something that”ll probably change too). I”m hoping to focus most of my criticism where it always has been: society, the media, teh community, and teh discourse (and not so much on individuals).

So. I hope you all enjoy the content to come. Please consider supporting my patreon.