recently saw something ‘motivational’ about remembering who you wanted to be. or something like that.
And. sure. this type of aspirational motivation is pretty common. and it is good.
but is this the only way that we can ‘grow’ or ‘improve’ over time?
in many ways…
i feel like a lot of what I’m doing is not trying to become a person i aspire to
rather working hard to heal past hurts
a sense of self i used to have
to my roots and my history and who i was
(my sister always says that i was a pretty sunny and outgoing kid. that i was friendly and engaging.
but that was before the
neglect, abuse, racism, transmisogyny, homophobia, fucking life
and I always wonder…