i dream of being possible

a comfort to my soul


my name change is recently official. and finally managed to get a provincial id with name + gender marker changed (now waiting for it in the mail). i still need to get my healthcare info changed (but this will require yet ANOTHER epic wait at service ontario, but i have everything i need now, so it should be ok). still waiting for various documents and whatever. my bank accounts still have old name and my main account requires that i have photo ID with my NEW name on it before they”ll change that.

my solution? opening a bank account at a different institution under new name. so far successful. i”m hopeful i may actually get paid this month (since my stuff is handled via direct deposit and apparently will not go through since i”ve changed my name at work but can”t at the bank… but now i”ll just switch direct deposit accounts).1

anyway. so because of all this weirdness new bank wanted me to confirm some info.

i call in.

and the person on the phone is all

person: “is this the account holder?”

me: “yes. this is my account”

person: “r u trying to access someone else”s account??? j’accuse!”

me: “no. this is mine…”

puts me on hold for 5 minutes

person: “r u sure this info is accurate??? it says ur female and to use ‘ms.” J’ACCUSE!!!!”

me: “that”s because i”m a woman”

so. obviously this whole thing was because my voice clearly doesn”t pass for a cis woman”s. i don”t care about that.

i”m not changing my voice.

whenever i think about this….

i remember Nina Simone.

back when i was first getting into her and listening to her ALL THE TIME ppl would always be like “who is this man singing???” and i”d be “this isn”t a man. it is Nina Simone” and they”d just be incredulous.

(this is one of the areas where some of the logic of transmisogyny and misogynoir overlap)

and look


Nina Simone has/had one of the best voices ever gifted to a woman (nay, human being) on this planet. and because it sounded a certain way… people”ve been incredulous that it is the voice of a woman.

now. i”m not suggesting that my voice is even 1/100th as lovely and beautiful as Nina Simone”s, not by far. however.

(i actually have no idea where i was going with this since i just went to the bathroom and now i can”t remember why i was writing this post. but i”m going to post it just because i”ve been so light on posting recently)