east indian princex
b_binaohan

today is trans day of visibility? oh. ok.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i just... yeah. whatever. fuck the day and fuck everything else.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i'm at work today and having a bad bowel day. which is awesome because i don't feel safe in the washrooms at work.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i can't use the washroom safely (even in the staff area at work) bc i'm a non-cis blending transpinay.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

everyday i leave the house and people misgender me and look at me with disgust on their faces and i worry about dying.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

but. BUT. WHY WON'T ANYONE SEE ME? i feel so invisible... wait, what?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and, no, this isn't about awareness. cis ppl SEE me. the problem isn't whether or not they're aware i exist or that i'm invisible.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

the problem is that the mere sight of me is a dangerous threat to _them_ and so i must always be made to feel unsafe. always.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i live and die on the sufference of cis ppl.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

before i step into myself, 'invisibility' was one of my coping/survival strategies. i relied on ppl not seeing me to stay safe.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and. yeah. the way that ladyboys are talked about in popular culture makes us VERY VERY visible.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

wasn't it stephen fry who was recently talking about how with ladyboys u can never know and we are a dangerous trap to watch out for?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

ladyboys also figure prominently in global sex work/trade/tourism. we are a fucking TOURIST attraction in SE asian countries.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

since i've been using the term: reminder that 'ladyboy' is a RACIALIZED transmisogynist slur. and it is mostly about SE Asian women/ppl.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

don't believe me (as i always get flack for talking about the racialized aspect of 'ladyboy') go ahead and google image search the word

east indian princex
b_binaohan

bc i occassionally see white trans women or white nb trans ppl using the word like they have the right.... you don't.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

how's THAT for trans visibility? i want more of the trans community to take overlapping issues of oppression seriously.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

esp the issue of race. i mean, just yesterday i was bitching on tumblr bc some white trans woman was coopting twoc experiences of violence

east indian princex
b_binaohan

thinking more about visibility... like. visibility is why i can't get a fucking job.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

suddenly curious about the origins of trans day of visibility. most sources cite rachel crandall as the person who started it.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

it was started bc the only other well-known trans day was tdor.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and now i'm looking at both of these yearly trans-related events and i can't help but notice that both were started by WHITE trans women

east indian princex
b_binaohan

so. like. tdor was started by a white trans woman who continues to take all credit for the day and exert her ownership over it.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

but like. few people recognize or remember Rita Hester, the Black trans woman whose death inspired white trans woman.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and forever after tdor is a time and event where white trans women and white trans men coopt the violence and narratives of twoc

east indian princex
b_binaohan

erasing both the actual targets of transmisogynist violence (twoc) and never letting us actually be there as living people.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and then we get trans day of visibility bc a different white trans woman thinks it sucks that we only have a memorial day...

east indian princex
b_binaohan

starting something that ALSO erases the reality that twoc are hypervisible even as we are purposefully erased from history/community

east indian princex
b_binaohan

so i'm looking at both of these days, started by white trans women, and BOTH erase and disregard the realities of twoc.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

HOW INTERESTING.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i well and truly believe that a trans day NOT STARTED by a white trans woman (esp in contrast to tdor) wouldn't've been about ~visibility~

east indian princex
b_binaohan

you know... in the years i've been around online... you know what i've never really heard any twoc say they need? VISIBILITY

east indian princex
b_binaohan

like. twoc have a lot of needs... but being VISIBLE really isn't one of them.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

so now i want to know: what would a inter/national trans day started by a Black trans woman look like? what would be the theme?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

what would the theme of a trans day be if it was started by a twoc sex worker?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and u know WHY WE don't know what such a day would look like? bc pretty much no one listens to or pays attention to twoc while we're alive.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

but whatever. twoc are screaming and dying and LEADING and fighting and surviving. but whatever. visibility. gotcha.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

another thing started by some drab white trans woman that centres her perspective and her needs.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

also fun is the stuff i'm seeing that are from (i'm guessing) afab nonbinary ppl saying 'we're erased and visibility!!!!'

east indian princex
b_binaohan

fuck all of u too

east indian princex
b_binaohan

remember how i was talking about being a ladyboy and related stuff earlier?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

for some (me included) ladyboy is a nonbinary identity. tell me how ~invisible~ i am? huh? TELL ME.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i'm also bakla (an indigenous gender). LOOK. i've written about this before.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

transmisogyny and the gender binary started with GIRLS LIKE ME in the colonies.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i've been visible to power for literally centuries of death, violence, and oppression.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

'nonbinary ppl are erased! remember them on trans day of visibility!' WHICH ONES ARE ERASED? WHO IS INVISIBLE? WHO IS DYING?

east indian princex
b_binaohan

don't fucking talk to me about ~erasure~ either unless you can open a white anthro book that talks about how all ppl like u are dead...

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i've had that fun experience. "oh. bakla? that identity is dead bc white ppl like me killed all of u"

east indian princex
b_binaohan

like white nonbinary ppl are always on this visibility thing. i hope u all choke on ur desire to be visible.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

'how do things change if we all stay invisible?' this is literally international coming out day logic. fuck u.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

even if i did blend/read as a cis woman... i don't fucking owe being 'out' to anyone.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

now... i just thought that if trans day of visibility were really about discussing serious fucking issues that need real attention

east indian princex
b_binaohan

issues like the treatment of incarcerated trans women and prison abolition

east indian princex
b_binaohan

issues like intimate partner violence and the suffering of trans women of colour...

east indian princex
b_binaohan

but of course... a day/event/thing started by a white trans woman isn't concerned about that.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

i like how that troll is trying to be... hyperbolic. but really? lol. cis ppl DO MURDER TWOC FOR shitting. for fucking breathing.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

"hahahah ur so fucking paranoid for bc u see the palpalble disgust on cis ppl's faces when they see u in public" yeah... lol.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

and. yeah. i'm not in an abusive relationship. i also don't do sex work. my chances of being murdered ARE PRETTY LOW.

east indian princex
b_binaohan

but there is a lot
of things ppl can do to you without u dying...