the self-diagnosis discussions hit me hard.

what do you do if you grew up in a time when people didn’t spend that much time looking for these types of things?

Like. 

if your parents are neglectful and don’t notice any of your struggles if you keep your grades up (and because also abusive you are too afraid to do anything but adapt and survive?).

and 

you spend your life thinking that *everything* is supposed to be this hard, all of the time. (and you spend your time feeling like you are just waiting to die and for the struggle to be over)

but 

no one has ever cared enough about you to notice? and you think living this way is normal?