i dream of being possible

this has been going around in my head

this thing on cis privilege and all the things that cis women can do

that i can’t

i’m really not a big believer in privilege lists… but this one

just hits a lot of the shit i’ve been struggling with for my presentation

i feel like i spend so much time daydreaming about how i could look and what I’d buy when i have money for clothes

i think about how my body just can’t… exist in ways that’ll keep me safe when i finally can present as i want

and i know that there some radical left wing women (feminist or not) out there revelling in all the things that endanger me

who would then lambast me for upholding the patriarchy

i think about how i’m spending hundreds of dollars for painful hair removal that I don’t even want or particularly care about

because i have zero chance of having people respecting my femininity unless i do this stuff.

and the androgyny thing… sure. yeah. i’m third gender. i want to exist in a space where i don’t have to be either


it is pretty dangerous for girls like me.

(and.. yeah. I once presented/occupied this space. i know just how dangerous it can get)

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