i dream of being possible

queer gender beyond whiteness

my interest around genderessence as term

is also related to my desire to stop seeing communities of colour invoke the whiteness imposed distinction between gender/sexuality. 

because ‘trans’ as a thing distinct from the queer community is something white gays did to gain their ‘freedom’ at the expense of queer/trans poc. respectability politics at its worse (and, thus, anti-Black to the extreme). 

you gender narrative is unique by virtue of being yours (and no one else’s)

and we all have narratives

because we not only need space for ‘non-normative’ narratives about gender but also space for even understanding what ‘normative’ gender is for poc outside of whiteness. 

space for all our narratives to be told, expressed, articulated, wept over, shared, elevated, 

*all of them*

(because, yes, I’m still interested in hearing a queer ‘cis’ Black woman’s narrative of what it means to be a woman free of whiteness. because, especially with the book I’m reading right now, i’m realizing how much more of a unified a community we were before white queer and white trans activism. about how even know invoking ‘cis’ and ‘trans’ within our communities still forces all of us to view our genders within white gender discourse. because what does it mean to be a man or a woman or neither or both or beyond or between or all outside of whiteness? what does it mean?

and, yes, this extends just beyond the gsm people because many of us are from cultures where there was role and place for us in the communities before white – but also during and after – and i feel like we still don’t spend enough time thinking about gender as colonial tool. because i don’t even have the fucking words to say what i want to say right now. like how do i talk about my own role? i’m not gender variant because my role is traditional. how can we understand this with the beauty standards that dictate that all Black women should try and have straight hair? because i see the colonial touch in both – in telling lies that my gender/role is aberrant and lies that some hair is ‘good’ and expresses femininity better than other hair.)