i dream of being possible

on forgiveness and colonialism

A lot is written about how survivors do not owe their abusers forgiveness. This is true.

And. As I’ve seen both Karnythia and Blackamazon point out elsewhere, forgiveness is also a thing that is also impossed on poc by christian morality.

No one is owed forgiveness.

This is something meaningful me as I continue to deal with my past abuse and neglect.

Because… for years after cutting my mom out of my life, I”ve still felt like it would be important (for my own emotional well being not hers) to someday forgive her. This is not true. I don’t need to forgive her, even for my sake.

This aspect of colonialism irritates me because it is so pervasive. And letting go of my guilt about this (not quite there) has been fucking hard to do. And, yes, I’d rather stop feeling guilty about never forgiving my parents than trying to forgive them. This is what I need to achieve peace.