i dream of being possible

none of this is about downplaying the importance

(none of this is about downplaying the importance and different experiences that ppl with visible disabilities have)

one of the super insiduous things about ableism, for me anyway

is the struggle with overcoming internalized ableism

and really getting to a point where i can recognize that my invisible disabilities are, you know, actually disabilities.

like. it took me a REALLY fucking long time to get to a place where i IDd as disabled bc of this. a long time of not having any support or even trying to get accommodations.

an even LONGER time of trying to force myself to live up to neurotypical standards and hurting myself a great dael in the process

a lot of shame and embarassment that i couldn’t do things that seemed so fucking EASY for some ppl

a lot of feeling like a worthless piece of human waste

bc everything feels so hard all the fucking time and everyone is like

“lol, that is life. everyone has trouble sometimes”

but not being able to like, fucking articulate mye xperiences in a way that ppl’d understand

bc i had no words

and of course

invisibile disabilities aren’t real

and ur a faker and should stfu

and just stop whining and be ok like everyone else


instead, it turns out, that if i say “actually NO i’m not like this, and i can do life like this”

i’m better equipped to, u know, actually figure out productive ways that help me live better without hurting myself at the same time