i dream of being possible

for those forgotten on purpose

Normally… Idk, I write something a lot more cynical for the trans day of visibility. Something about hypervisibility and blah blah. This year though… I want to take a moment to give a nod to the exiles of teh ~community~.

I’m talking about those of us who, for one reason or another, have been slowly and systematically pushed out of our respective communities. The ones who tried to engage. Tried to make noise. The ones who tried.

One of the most overlooked, forgotten, invisible sections of the community are all the ppl who were exiled from the community. The people not deemed ideologically pure enough, not deemed white enough, not deemed respectable enough, not rich enough, just. not. enough.

I always wonder about all the people who you once saw around but…. just stopped showing up. Maybe you didn’t know them all that well. Maybe they were super involved. Maybe they quietly supported in the cornder. The point was: they were there. And now they aren’t.

When we talk about ‘inclusiveness’ we usually focus on the ppl who can’t enter a space. The people who’re excluded. The ones not allowed in.

But… its also about the people who do come in. And the ones we chew up and spit out. The ones we burn out. The ones we abuse and use until they are emptied out and hallow.

The ones pushed out. The ones who walk away. The ones who disappear. Never to be seen again.

Where are they? What happened? How do the exiles find each other? Do we even want to? What happens when community is the greater evil?

Does anyone see us? Does anyone care enough to try and find us?

Its funny… the way ‘silencing’ and ‘erasing’ is used these days, they seem like abstract, generic concepts. But we forget that they refer to very specific acts. The abstract ways they occur are still violent and do matter.

But what about the people literally silenced?

What about the people literally erased?

Who haven’t you heard from in a while? Who haven’t you seen in a while?

Who is silenced, erased, and forgotten?

So for this year’s trans day of visibility, I want to let all the other exiles know that I notice. I care. It doesn’t mean much given that I’m out here in the cold too. But my thoughts are with you. I hope you’re well. I hope you survive.\n