i dream of being possible

and it is funny because way back when i had a

And it is ‘funny’

because, way back when I had a skewed and massively unhealthy understanding of what relationships were

i dated one guy who wasn’t abusive

who was kind, gentle, caring

it was so foreign and unexpected

that I ran screaming away from him

i didn’t recognize his expression when he looked at me

because it was one of sincere fondness and love

i didn’t understand it and it terrified me

so i stopped dating him

i always think about where he might be right now

i hope he is happy