some trans 101 coming your way

I dn”t like when people tell me, after i”ve given them my preferred pronouns and new name

that “it”ll take me a while to get used to, so i”m sorry if i mess up”

no. I know you will probably mess up. people act like i, myself, have never had a friend ‘come out” and, consequently, had to adjust to a new name and/or pronoun.

i know it isn”t always easy and some times you fuck up. i know. i”ve done it. it can be particularly difficult when you”ve known the person for a long while.

but this pre-emptive ‘sorry” irritates me because, no, i actually want you to not fuck up. and, in the eventuality that you do, to briefly apologize and correct yourself with little fuss.

and if it happens that this incident triggers me (not all of them do and some i can shrug off with patience) and I get mad/upset/whatever, well, you can also just fucking deal.

but no. you don”t get forgiveness in advance. it doesn”t work like that.