does everyone like how cheerful i”m being this morning?

lol

i really meant it yesterday that i”m reaching (i have reached) a place of acceptance that they world simply wants me dead.

its funny. one of my most cherised dreams when i was younger was the idea that one day i”d get to relax, breathe, take time. that maybe i”d have a stable home. enough money to live (i aspired to be middle class). that i could live quietly and just… fade away.

i deferred a lot of necessary self-care and healing with this hope in mind. that someday i”d have the space, time, and resources to actually make myself a little less broken.

now? i”m just broken and i”ve given up.