i dream of being possible

<-- home

Too much honesty

Partially related to all the recent discussions and thoughts I’ve

had about the overall notion/idea of professionalism and libraries

and that whole racket we call ‘being a good productive cog in the

capitalist machinery’.

One thing that has got me in trouble more than a few times in my

work life, thus far, has been being too honest.

It started way back when I was working at a cafe, gosh, when I was

18, and got in trouble for my boss over giving honest assessments

of the sandwiches we had just started to sell (if memory serves,

they weren’t very good and I told people that). Apparently

encouraging people to eat shitty food is better than telling the


Since that point, being honest has continued to bite me in the ass

and cost me opportunities. I think the next major incident was

when I was in an interview and was (not joking) actually asked

what race I was because I looked ~exotic~. My response was “Um,

you aren’t allowed to ask me that question.” Didn’t get the job.

Next… was probably after I had broken my hand and finally

finished phsyiotherapy, but my hand was still not all that great

(indeed, it actually sustained some permanent loss of mobility). I

told my interviewer about this. Didn’t get that job either.

Other jobs I didn’t get were because of being asked that

ridiculous question “How are you at multitasking?”. This question,

let me tell you, annoys me because there is [some evidence that

multitasking is a myth](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95256794).

Even if multitasking is something people do, it isn’t something I

do. So when asked the question, I usually respond “I suck at

multitasking, but I make up for it by being very efficient and

prioritizing my time.” Which amuses me, because according to the

linked article above… People who think they are multitasking are

just switching between tasks very very quickly. But, may the

ancestors help you, if you dare mention that to a potential


Nowadays, I’m a little better at understanding what kind of

honesty people find desirable and what kind of honesty doesn’t get

you a call back after an interview.1 However, after 30 years of

trying (and largely failing) to figure out where the line is

between them, I’m ready to throw in the towel. I’m out. I’ll be as

honest as will allow me to respect myself and I’ll be honest in

the only way that actually makes sense to me.

At this point, looking back with that 20/20 hindsight, I sincerely

doubt that this will make a significant impact on my professional

life. What it will do, however, is decrease a lot of the anxiety I

have about these situations. I seriously think I spend more time

trying to toe a line I can’t even see than actually makes any real

sense when I still regularly fail to stay on the right side.

(It will not surprise me if I end up working at Starbucks next

year. Which, to be brutally honest, I wouldn’t mind. At least I’d

have health benefits.)