on commonalities between friends and lovers
August 3, 2013
this post on tumblr about noticing that your past lovers had something in common
(i agree with girljanitor in generalizing to just ‘people’)
it took me a while to understand why i gravitated towards the people i do in my life (the people who became close friends or lovers)
as far as sexual attraction goes: a nice smile. that it literally all i really need to get going. pretty much nothing does it as well as that.
but. for personality and other physical stuff…
one thing i noticed a while back was that i tended to hang out with people who know how to social better much more than i do. like, they are usually outgoing/sociable introverts, who’d largely be fine with just one-on-one interactions, but when we were in group social situations, they’d be a lot more comfortable and able to manage and then i’d stick close to them and, essentially, group social by proxy.
the other thing i noticed, but this is only very recently is that these people also (sort of related to being more outgoing) are very verbal people. they like talking a lot. something good for a person with nld ‘cause i usually need people to make a lot of sounds if I’m going to understand them.
and. on this note too, people with really really expressive faces. because unless you have anime levels of facial expressions, I cannot ever relax around you because i’ll spend the entire time staring at your face looking for clues on how to behave in the situation, constantly failing, getting super frustrating, then depressed about how i fail to connect (note: this also explains a handful of the dating things i got involved with and why they made me as crazy as they did).